Why do they have to do this to me. Experiencing the same trauma again and again. Repeatedly coming out of nowhere.. Making me feel terrible and distraught..
Can all of you just stop doing this to me!? I have had it already.. Having this problem for 2 years is already a stab in my heart, but having to experience the same thing again in JC is far worse than i have ever imagine!
Stop saying those hurtful words!! I am sick, tired and irritated.. I do not want to hear any of those hurtful words repeatedly.. I feel like dying.. The torture.. All of you will never understand it.
Wanna break myself from this world.. but not to the people who love me so much.. I hate this!! IDIOTIC!!
I felt like crying, but i won't do that in front of anyone. If u all want to destroy me, do what you want.. all of you are SICK!!
I really want to die... Had this pain and suffering for so long.. trying to keep up with my life while putting a fake smile on my face.. A facade.. Never in any of your life would you have understood the torture inside me.. hanging for so long.. I HATE IT!! I HATE MY LIFE!!
I can't take it anymore.. Seriously.. If you all really want me to die, i have nothing to say. Say all you want, i couldn't care less for what you all spoke ill of me to. Maybe this is what God wants to do to punish me, for all the sins i have done. If i can turn back the time, i wish that everything could be changed.. Return to what i thought was a more blissful life.. A happier future in IJC..
Maybe i should have died....
But i won't.. Not gonna lose to any of you. I will stay strong and happy like i used to be. No matter what, i will do the same thing i did last time.. and that is to be silent.. No more happy-go-lucky Fiona you all used to know.. The current FIONA CHENG KAI XIN IS DEAD!!
The only gratitude i have is friends who stood by me.. My laogong, JJLFSS, 0931B, my family and closest friends, X-country juniors and seniors.. and of course Cheng Wei, Aaron, Jun Jie, Jon Shih..etc..
WZ, i was glad that you were with me through this 14 months.. Even though we fight over small things and both of us would have the bad times.. But i was glad that you tried to forgive my bad points and stayed with me through this turbulent times.. We have overcame so many obstacles to be together, so hope our love stay strong!! Thanks for trying to comfort me today.. even if you were at poly having orientation.I am fine now.. But still feel real sad.. sigh..But i still want to tell you..LOVE YA LOADS!!
Especially JJLFSS, during the times when i was at my worst, you all stood by me through thick and thin.. No matter what the problem, you would always comfort me.. telling me not to give up.
Jean, thanks for being with me.. I still remember the time when i cried so hard and terribly.. You were the one who cried together with me.. Supporting me always.. Although we may have some quarrels, but we are still best of friends!! A BIG THANK YOU FROM ME TO YOU!!
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